The Revolution is Relational

Relational Literacy: The Missing Curriculum

Since founding my practice in 2014, I've worked with individuals and couples to develop the awareness, understanding, and skills necessary for navigating the complexities of intimate territory: emotional and erotic connection, resilient boundaries, and dynamic communication.

Relational literacy requires skill building, just like all meaningful subjects of learning. But unlike other subjects, relational literacy isn't explicitly taught; it is implicitly modeled. In the absence of real education, we’re left in a landscape littered with tips, tricks, and magical thinking that fails to develop genuine relational competency.

Relational Skills Are Learnable

The Pillars of Relational Literacy

  • Emotional Literacy

    Embodied and present emotional awareness—foundational for all the other pillars. Less about managing or controlling emotions, and more about developing the capacity to recognize, name, and access the intelligence of emotion.

  • The Psychology of Sex

    Understanding eroticism as primal creative drive of which sex is one expression. What makes sex good, great, and amazing and how erotic power is always available within and beyond sex.

  • Relational Boundaries

    The infrastructure of intimacy, as much about need and desire as they are about limits. Not rigid rules or ultimatums but dynamic practices of mutual care and respect.

  • The Rules of Engagement

    Emotion-centered communication for navigating conflict and deepening mutual understanding. A structured practice that supports relational and logistical problem-solving, and repair after rupture.

Ways to Work With Me

The Conversations
Practicing the Four Pillars of relational literacy through facilitated exploration—in monthly group workshops or private intensive format.
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Private Coaching
Ongoing individualized support for navigating specific challenges and relationship evolution.
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  • "Elena's progressive views toward sexuality and relationships have been a liberating antidote to the conservative and repressive views I feel I absorbed from a young age. At first I was worried that our differences wouldn't be a good fit. But Elena challenges me to consider different ways of seeing things, helps me push the envelope of my comfort zone, and ultimately has helped me grow tremendously during our work together."

    —Private client, 35

  • "The Conversations were all impactful. The diversity within the groups and the similar concerns and vulnerabilities astonished and challenged me to be a more open person (and I feel I'm pretty open!). Takeaways: reconnecting with my emotions, profound connection with others in the group, growth emotionally and personally."

    —Workshop participant

  • "I felt incredibly comfortable in a room full of strangers speaking my truth. It was refreshing! It was a surprise to me, given in those kinds of situations I usually feel a need to be performative."

    —Workshop participant

  • "One of the first things I learned from Elena was focusing on my body. My emotional state and physical state are tightly connected. Elena has also helped me get better at understanding, communicating and setting up my boundaries within my relationship."

    —Private client, 31, Boston

  • “Elena's effect on my life and growth has been very significant. Having her to confide in and process with truly feels like having a Spirit Guide in the flesh. Her presence, feedback and quality of attention feels both deeply grounded and other-worldly."

    —Private client, 41, Bay Area

  • "I love Elena's laughter and the humor she brings to sessions. She is super good at holding both of us accountable and not siding with one person or the other, giving us tools to improve our communication and not just 'listening'."

    —Private couples client, San Francisco

  • "Elena gave us tools and structures to create a safe space where we could identify and express our emotions and needs in the relationship. This was a huge game changer for us because once our true emotions and needs were identified and communicated, the defensiveness was dropped and we were able to understand each other in a new way and begin to heal some longstanding issues."

    —Private couples client, NYC

  • "My husband and I have been working with Elena, not so much to fix things, as to make what we have better. I'm amazed – and so appreciative – of the depth of relationship that she helps us create and the sense of reconnection that we feel together. We don't always know what we're going to talk about in each session ahead of time, and yet the most wonderful conversations and deeper understanding always unfolds and emerges. Elena is smart, creative, funny, warm and insightful, all wrapped up in a package that is inviting and unassuming."

    —Private couples client, Bay Area

  • "Finally feeling like someone loved me enough to argue with me! And finally feeling like I met someone as emotionally deep and complex as me."

    —Private client, 45